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Paul J. Wong

Help! I've Been Diagnosed with a Depressive Disorder


​As we continue this series on being diagnosed with a mental health disorder, we now look to another common issue that people struggle with—Depression. If you were to type “depression statistics” in your search engine, it wouldn’t take long to recognize how prevalent depression is across the lifespan. According to the Ministry of Health and Long Term Care, it is assumed that 1 in 4 Canadians will experience an episode at some point in their lives that would be deemed serious enough to seek out professional support. The tragic part about this statistic is that only a fraction of the people who need support are able to find the appropriate care that they need. Instead, they suffer in silence and isolation by either putting on a happy face, making sure that everything and everyone else is okay; or they seclude socially by avoiding all of the nouns—people, places and things. My hope in writing this article is to normalize the experience of depression through both a professional and personal level.

What is the big deal anyways?

Although I would argue that in our society we have categorized just about every negative human emotion, it is also important to recognize that there are times when we need help. In Canada, suicide has been ranked as the 9th leading cause of death; however it is the second leading cause of death in adolescents.* As taking one’s own life is the most drastic symptom of this mental health issue, there are also many other harmful affects of allowing depression to linger unmanaged in our lives. Depression also causes issues of fatigue, difficulty thinking and concentrating, feelings of worthlessness, persistent sadness and a slew of other terrible symptoms. Beginning in the mind, these issues always transfer to the body (as everything is connected) causing heart and respiratory issues, issues of the immune system, sleep related disorders and it is argued that even types of cancers.** These issues then move into our social lives as depression can impede parenting skills, attachment bonds between partners, job performance and just about any other social area you can imagine. As one who struggles with depression, I both professionally and personally attest that depression is a big deal—and it sucks!

What can I do about it?

The good news is that there are a variety of options to choose from in finding support in Canada—especially in Ontario. As a psychotherapist, I have a bias towards talk-therapy as I have been in both seats of the helping profession. In my practice, I would say about one third of my clients struggle with depressive symptoms. I utilize different therapies from the traditional Cognitive Behavioral approach to some relatively newer styles such as Narrative therapy or Emotionally Focused Therapy for individuals.

On a personal note, I remember the early days of coming to terms with understanding my own mental health issue. In the winter of 2011, I remember experiencing the issues mentioned above becoming unmanageable. I swam through waves of anxiety, anger, tiredness, difficulty concentrating and my personal world became a messy. My wife noticed me becoming a shell of my former self, I was physically present but psychologically absent from my children and short with the people who I worked with. Luckily for me, I found the appropriate avenues or help. I met with my doctor who referred my to a psychiatrist—who diagnosed me with Seasonal Affective Disorder which has now been categorized as Major Depressive Disorder with Seasonal Pattern (meaning for 5 months of the year my mood matches our Canadian fall and winter). I also found support through one of my pastors and a social worker who helped me unpack some underlying issues which were exasperating the symptoms. I also met with another therapist a few years later who refused to allow me to wallow in my sadness all alone. In addition to all of this professional support, I also had the option of taking medication, non-traditional forms of medication (like light therapy), dietitian assistance, community programs for mental health and was surrounded by friends, family and co-workers who did not completely get it—but were there to lean on when life was hard to handle.

How can I help?

Living with someone who struggles with depression can be just as difficult as having it yourself. The strange thing about emotion is that it is contagious. This can be both good and difficult—as both joy and sorrow can be transferred in human relationships. For those of you reading who have a loved one who struggles with depression, the best thing that you can do is find out what depression is like and then to just be there, both physically and emotionally, for the person who is struggling. Many fall into the trap of trying to save someone struggling with mental illness in order to find a cure (spoiler alert: you can’t!). This action, in my opinion, is one of the biggest mistakes that any helper can make and begins a process that we refer to as “unhealthy codependency”. As support people (family, friends, professionals) we are here to help—when asked/when needed. Yes—there are times when we need to make decisions for another (like taking them to a hospital when symptoms are extreme), but for the most part, our job is just to be there without giving advice, trying to cheer them up or asking if they have taken their medication that day.

I do hope that you find this article helpful and that if you struggle with this common human experience—that you don’t struggle alone. As mentioned in previous articles, there are many people in our community who are here to help and are just waiting for you to reach out. From experience, depression isn’t something you can wave a magic wand over to fix; but it is something that you can learn to manage well. And hey—if you are ever in the Wellington or Mapleton region and looking to connect, I’m only a phone call or email away.

Until next time,

Cited Articles...

*http://www.statcan.gc.ca/pub/82-624-x/2012001/article/11696-eng.htm

**https://www.nhs.uk/news/cancer/anxiety-and-depression-linked-to-increased-cancer-death-risk/

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