A little while ago we lost a lamb. Actually, for lambing season on the whole we’ve lost a couple of those little guys. I really hate that side of farming…
As most of my clients know, I’m a psychotherapist by day and a dad and small-time farmer for the rest of the time outside of the office. I’d like to think I do a good enough job taking off the therapist hat when I step outside of the office door and get into the vehicle to go home. And as most of you know, us therapists aren’t mind readers, psychics or super-naturally gifted. We’re just every-day Joes and Janes like yourselves who have a few theories and tools up our sleeves that can be helpful in conversation and sometimes in life direction. All this to say, I haven’t met a single therapist who is immune to being bummed out to the point where they just can’t shake it and they need to talk things out every once in a while.
And this week feels like it’s been one of them.
Sometimes we can have a lot going for us and still, it feels like there’s just something dragging us down. Maybe it’s the war in Ukraine that is so non-sensical and unfair. Maybe it’s the lagging social fatigue from this pandemic—even though we are almost on the other side. Maybe it’s been something that we’ve been carrying for some time, like the loss of a loved one decades ago or the abusive relationship we managed to escape yet still feel the aftershock. And even though on the outside it looks like we should have anything all put together, something is bothering us, and it feels like we just can’t shake it off.
For times like this, I wish that there was a magic pill that I could take to make it just go away or some mystical CBT intervention where if I could just frame it in my mind, I could just accept things rationally and my emotions would quickly just fall in line.
Ah, if only it were that easy.
For now, I suppose talking it out is helpful enough. Talking with friends, with loved ones, with my therapist who has had an earful over the years of what went right and what went wrong around here.
It doesn’t fix it completely, but it does help. Because I think what helps the most is being able to tell another person how unfair life can be without them pushing a solution, without judgment on how I could have been to the barn earlier or a pat answer of “well I hope you feel better soon”. The fact that someone can just sit with me in my pain is really all they can do until the sun rises again, I put on my boots and open the barn door to either another baby lamb jumping about or even another tragedy—because the Good Lord knows that won’t be the last one that doesn’t survive around here.
Admitting it helps. Being angry about it helps. Crying about it helps. Talking about it helps.
And I for one am honoured to be able to do just that. From the one sitting on the couch to the one sitting in the chair. It's a humbling process.
That even though it often doesn't fix things, It really is helpful to talk about it.
Until Next Time…
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