My children have been teaching me a lot about practicing gratefulness. As many of my readers and clients know, I have moved from the great white north of Ontario back to my old stomping grounds of southwestern Ontario. Moving in the middle of a cold snap is never fun but I suppose you aren't truly Canadian until you throw a bunch of moving boxes into the back of a u-haul in the deep freeze of January or February. For those of you who have ever had a longer distance move, I am sure that you know how difficult of a transition moving can be. Change can be especially difficult for children, as developmentally-- they yearn for an environment of consistency and predictability. That being said, this experience has been anything but predictable for my own kids.
While moving has been difficult on these young adventurers, I am also reminded of the resilience of the human spirit. On more than one occasion, my oldest child has pointed out some positive aspects of living in a new environment. A dichotomy is highlighted: that in life you can either dwell on what you lost or be grateful for what new experiences you now have on your plate. In my previous life as a pastor, I often encouraged my congregation members to focus on this during prayer. Research based studies such as Dr NewBurg's findings on Christians, Sikhs and Buddhists, suggests that spiritual practices such as prayer and meditation can literally reshape your brain in a positive manner. For those of us who come from a more spiritual but not religious stance in life, we don't have to explore too far into the mindfulness practice to recognize the similarities between Newburg's study and embrace the simple practice of the recognition of what simply is and thankfulness for the ordinary and often overlooked.
A simple practice of gratitude can radically change our mood, perspective and in time, even our situation in life. Therapeutic models such as Dialectic or Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Narrative Therapy or even the Gottman method of couples therapy utilizes gratitude in different interventions and techniques. It has been shown to decrease negative symptoms of depression and anxiety while also increasing marital and relationship satisfaction. Gratitude is by no means a decision to repress or refute the difficult, painful and negative aspects of our journey; but simply a recognition that life is full of paradox. There are times when life can be incredibly stressful and at the same time momentarily serene and downright beautiful. Holding space for both sorrow and celebration allows us to see a larger, thicker and more robust description of our lived experience.
So how exactly do we put this into practice?
Tune in next time as we look at a few exercises that may be of help to you.
Until Next Time...