If you read my previous article, you will notice that I admit to being a pretty simple practioner. Although I do use a handful of psychotherapeutic techniques, I often find the people I work with wrestling with issues of attachment. Yes, the problems that we face often present in different forms and manners; yet our deep needs are so similar, because deep down inside we share in the human experience. The following is another example where connection, or the lack of connection, plays a pivotal and problematic role, yet is also the ultimate source of healing. Greg's Story Greg is a 27 year old male who binges on alcohol and cocaine on the weekends. Although he does not see this behavior as overly problematic, he does want to stop because he does not want to go down the road that his father is on in terms of his drug abuse. He admits that his father is the person who introduced him to drug use and when they were in a good relationship, would often use marijuana and whiskey to let loose on the weekends. Greg speaks about these experiences fondly, noting that he often felt responsible for his father's emotions when his mother died and wanted his dad to be able to forget about the memories when emotions grew strong. When his father hit him a few years ago, Greg realized that it was getting out of hand, but now recognizes that 8 years of drug abuse has left him in the position where he always seems to find himself using. When asked about what leads up to the binges, Greg notes that he's a "closet drinker... who, when he lets the dragon out, the dragon brings in the white pony and they ride down the coast together". Greg is unsure if he wishes to end his use, but does want more control over his actions. Approach: Solution Focused Therapy/ Narrative Therapy
Solution Focused Therapy works alot like it's title. We utilize the strengths in the story to find the solutions. For Greg, the approach looks to validate his will-power and the fact that he seems to be a weekend user--meaning he can abstain from using for 5 or 6 days out of the week sometimes. It is often that when a person comes for help, they find themselves living in a problem-saturated situation. A big part of the Solution Focused approach is to help someone gage if they really do seek to change their behavior, as well as become aware of what leads up to the problem. This helps people also identify some resources available to help in the present situation. As Greg brainstorms how he manages to put safety measures in place during the week, he is able to recognize that is has the power to do the same on the weekends. Another part of the work with Greg is to help him recognize any patterns which leads up to his using. For his typical use, it seems to be a means of escape when he is lonely. During these times, he compiles a list of resources to reach out to-- including a crisis line.
While the Solution Focused approach is helpful for changing the here and now, I find that it is best used in tandem with other models. The Narrative approach is helpful in helping Greg develop his own sense of personal agency when dealing with his addictive patterns; but more importantly, helping him see his own place in a larger narrative. After about 3 sessions of solution focused therapy, Greg begins to realize that there are some emotions that he has been running from for some time. Although his drug use has not been the most helpful in his life, Greg realizes that it was one of a few solutions that actually helped him cope with a difficult transition of losing his mother. As he reflects on his own story, he first recounts it as a tragedy where he plays the role of a victim. This story is common as people feel helpless in their present situation.
With the use of narrative therapy, Greg is able to recognize that although the dominant story may be the tale of a substance that wreaked havoc in his life; his alternate story is one of resilience--a son doing his best to provide for his father in the midst of his own grief. Although Greg typically saw himself as weak as he "gave in" when life was difficult, the alternate story helps Greg view himself as a wounded-healer who had good intentions to be there for his father. This perspective changes everything as now Greg is able reclaim the power of choice with his newly discovered heroic motive that was there from day one. For Greg, here is where the recognition of attachment needs play the central role:
Greg's pain became unbearable when he suffered the loss of his primary attachment figure (his mother). It then increased when he experienced the fear of losing the connection to his father. In the attempt to forge the connection with an important attachment, Greg used a substance as a tool to bond with his father. Unfortunately, when Greg's father abused him while under the influence, the attachment was severed and he continued clinging to what made him either feel good, or feel less. Greg is now at a fork in the road in his life and will need to utilize what Michael White calls "the audience of change": people in his life who he can build a new attachment with who can both cheer him on in his recovery, but also be there for him as meaningful characters of a new chapter. With them, he will be able go face the demons and emotions which have haunted him for some time.
Though the journey may not be easy or quick, Greg still has a lot of hope and a reason to move forward in a positive light. It is important to note as well (with all examples used in my articles) that Greg is not a living person but resembles many people who I have had the honour of walking with as a therapist or a pastor. If you are reading this and are feeling that this is hitting close to home for you, I encourage you to seek out people to share your jouney with. And if you ever are in the Sudbury area and feel the need to connect, I'm only a phone call or email away. Stay tuned for the final installment of this series on connection. Until Next Time,