As a therapist, sometimes I have the habit of coming off as a one trick pony.
If you have visited my website and read through the content, you will notice that there are a few methods in which I'm trained to provide when it comes to the practice of psychotherapy. Clicking away on google, you'll also notice a plethora of more approaches for therapy. As one would assume, when people present with different problems, different methods or modalities will be used to address each particular problem. And while this is technically true, I find that although some people may be wrestling with more seemingly complex issues, connection (or the lack of) plays an integral role in both the cause and solution to the issues which they are facing.
The following is the first installment of a three-part series. Three scenarios where connection, or the lack of connection, plays a pivotal and problematic role, yet is also the ultimate source of healing.
Tamara's story Tamara is a 47 year old woman who has been struggling with issues of anxiety. She notes that she has had persistent panic attacks whenever she hears loud noises. Her friends have told her that there must have been something that caused her to feel this way, but the more she tries to think about it, the more she just becomes more frustrated and anxious. When asked where she feels the anxiety, she notes that she feels it in her chest, her stomach and her hands. Because of the panic attacks, she rarely leaves the house and has become somewhat obsessed with watching world news. Her husband is supportive, but is at his "wits-end" because he is taking care of the children and working extra hours to make ends meet. This, in turn, has caused Tamara to feel bad about herself (depressed) and causes her to isolate even more-- not only from the outside world but her relationship with her husband. Suggested Approach: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Although something like depression may point to the past and present (there must be something wrong with me), anxiety points to the future (something wrong will happen to me). Tamara's situation is difficult because her symptoms are not only affecting her own way of operating, but also her family system (husband and children).
An approach like CBT may be helpful in addressing some of the distorted thoughts which lead her to feel anxious. When working through CBT, a workbook or journal is crucial to tracking the situations which lead to the panic attacks. Furthermore, it is imperative to understand that the panic attacks are merely a symptom of a greater issue. The source of Tamara's anxiety may be buried underneath her conscious ability, which is common for people who have experienced trauma. By the telling and retelling of her experiences through the CBT lens, it is possible for her to uncover what her amygdala (the fight or flight centre of the brain) has concealed from her; which likely did so in order to protect her. But even more important than finding the cause, is to help Tamara affirm that she is safe, she is loved, that she is valued and that the people around her are there to support her in the midst of her anxiety. This process draws upon the Attachment Theory of John Bowlby where the ultimate source of our consoling and comfort comes from our primary attachment relationships. By utilizing the coping skills of CBT and marrying them with the philosophy of the attachment theory, Tamara's outlook has the possibility to thrive in her setting. Yes, it will take some time, but by focusing on her secure attachments when dealing with her anxiety, Tamara will likely experience something often called post-traumatic growth; and through time, may even be a source of healing and support for others who struggle with the same issues.
If you happen to struggle with anxiety, please know that you are not alone. Although anxiety tends to cause us to feel frozen or stuck where we are, there is help if we can find the courage to reach out. As stated earlier, reaching out and connecting to others is the first and most important step in your journey. Please reach out to others and if you happen to be in the Sudbury area and feel the need to chat with a therapist, I'm only a phone call or email away.
Until Next Time,