Due to the extremely large volume of negative information streaming from our friends to the south, I have made a resolution that whenever I dwell on a presidential decision in a negative way (which seems to be happening daily), I'll make an attempt to find some positive news elsewhere in our world-- even if it takes going to a French satirical magazine to find it.
In our society, we have a tendency to focus on what seems to go wrong. I find this to be a bit of a shame, because there are many things going well in our world which need to be spoken about. As you read this now, there are hundreds of thousands of charities around the world feeding the hungry, handing out clothing and helping people with the social issues which they have become trapped in. It is unfortunate that these good deeds are not being highlighted more often.
In my practice here in Sudbury, this manner of focus and attention is of no exception. I would say that many of the people who come and see a therapist are stuck in a negative story. If that were not the case, I suppose they might not feel that life has become unmanageable enough to seek the expertise of a trained professional.
When a person steps into my office, they come with a story. It may be a story of regret, a story of loss or a story of perpetual conflict or storms. Regardless of the circumstances or severity, the story always captivates me. And as the story unfolds, it is easy to become entrapped in the details of conflict. For some, the conflict is a marriage difficulty; for others it may be depression, anxiety or a sense of low self-esteem. And all through the sharing of the story, it is easy to become trapped in a negative cycle where even if life will become better for a brief time, the other shoe is likely to drop shortly after.
A large portion of my job as a therapist and counsellor is to choreograph the dance. After hearing the story, or the song that a person has been singing; my role is to open up the perspective to another way of seeing, thinking, doing or feeling. In narrative therapy, this is called telling the alternate story. We all have exceptions to the problems which we face; days or moments in our lives where we have a tiny bit of hope. And when a person shares that part of the alternate story or harmonious tune; my job is to explore the less told part of the story. It is quite remarkable how quickly hope can spread when this process happens. It often only takes one or two sessions before a person leaves my office a little bit more hopeful about their life or circumstance... even if it only lasts for a little while. As the therapy process continues, I've noticed people being able to hold onto hope a little while longer through the week. I guess that is why I got into this work-because I find myself more hopeful about the world when am privileged to witness so many people finding hope for their stories, their future and their relationships.
If you are reading this today and you are finding yourself stuck in the negativity, I do hope that this information is helpful for you. I encourage you to recognize the negative for what it is; but not get stuck in it. There is a lot of hope for this world and for the story in which you tell. I encourage you to focus on that.
And if you're ever in the Sudbury area and looking to speak with a therapist or counsellor, please do not hesitate reach out. I'm only a phone call or email away.
Until Next Time,